another boring one...

i've spent sleepless nights...
thinking of stupid thoughts...
that came across my mind...
as time passes by...

every single thought held a memory...
a memory that i wanted to forget...
but i just cant cause its stuck there...
some of my greatest regrets...

i learnt that in life...
there's no easy way out...
the fact that i've been running away from my problems...
so often that i forgot that courage i had...
the courage to stand up for myself....

i kept telling myself..
think happy thoughts...
but it just didn't seem to work...
every happy thought led to a bad memory...
somehow..
i have no idea either how it all started...

all my regrets are haunting me...
i'm trying to escape this tight grasp...
i'm trying to pull myself together...
and stand up when i'm falling...

every second...
i feel myself trying hard to stand up...
but whenever i do..
at the same time...
i fall back to where i started...

it seems so hard to reach the top...
i feel like im half-way there...
and something pulls me all the way to the bottom...
again.

why am i not asking God for help?
why am i unsure of everything?
why am i so insecure?
God HELP me..

i dunno whats wrong with me right now...
but whatever it is...
God...
nothing is impossible for you to handle...
i lift it up to you...
God...
take all this burden away from me...
please....