another boring one...

i've spent sleepless nights...
thinking of stupid thoughts...
that came across my mind...
as time passes by...

every single thought held a memory...
a memory that i wanted to forget...
but i just cant cause its stuck there...
some of my greatest regrets...

i learnt that in life...
there's no easy way out...
the fact that i've been running away from my problems...
so often that i forgot that courage i had...
the courage to stand up for myself....

i kept telling myself..
think happy thoughts...
but it just didn't seem to work...
every happy thought led to a bad memory...
somehow..
i have no idea either how it all started...

all my regrets are haunting me...
i'm trying to escape this tight grasp...
i'm trying to pull myself together...
and stand up when i'm falling...

every second...
i feel myself trying hard to stand up...
but whenever i do..
at the same time...
i fall back to where i started...

it seems so hard to reach the top...
i feel like im half-way there...
and something pulls me all the way to the bottom...
again.

why am i not asking God for help?
why am i unsure of everything?
why am i so insecure?
God HELP me..

i dunno whats wrong with me right now...
but whatever it is...
God...
nothing is impossible for you to handle...
i lift it up to you...
God...
take all this burden away from me...
please....

29/01/09

happy birthday j.loh!!!

2009!!! here we come..

HAPPY NEW YEAR KUCHING!!!!
blessed new year guys... =)

1 more hour...

another hour...
take this time...
to think about everything you've done that was unpleasing to anyone...
take this time...
to remember every good deed you've done to help others...
take this time...
to forgive and ask for forgive-ness from those you've unpleased...
take this time...
to think....
about what you've done in the past year...
take this time...
to think...
what you're gonna do to improve the next years to come...

it's not about the amount of wrongs you've done...
it's about what you've done to help others and yourself...
happy new years eve everyone...

and remember...
dont keep it all inside now...
let it go and pass...
like the wind...
after every storm... there's a rainbow...

tell yourself that 2009... will be better...
=) god bless you

i wish i could save you....

Take a breath
I pull myself together
Just another step till I reach the door
Youll never know the way it tears me up inside to see you
I wish that I could tell you something
To take it all away

Sometimes I wish I could save you
And therere so many things that I want you to know
I wont give up till its over
If it takes you forever I want you to know

When I hear your voice
Its drowning in a whisper
Its Just skins and bones
Theres nothing left to take
No matter what I do I cant make you feel better
If only I could find the answer
To help me understand

Sometimes I wish I could save you
And therere so many things that I want you to know
I wont give up till its over
If it takes you forever I want you to know

That if you fall, stumble down
Ill pick you up off the ground
If you lose faith in you
Ill give you strength to pull through
Tell me you won't give up cause Ill be waiting if you fall
Oh you know Ill be there for you


If only I could find the answer
To take it all away

Sometimes i wish i could save you
And therere so many things that I want you to know
I wont give up till it's over
If it takes you forever I want you to know

I wish I could save you
I want you to know

I wish I could save you

shoud i be...

should i be...
happy?
sad?
confused?
angry?
dissapointed?
excited?
should i...
smile?
frown?
scream?

yes i do sound emo...
hahaha...
stupid brain...
dong you mood!!
grrr... =(

Yes or No?

Yes or No?
questions im asking myself day by day...
it's to make the right desicions...
its hard to do something you love but others dont...
its hard to do something others love but you dont...

so which is it?
everyday....
Yes or No?
=S

someone's watching over me?

when i feel alone...
God i know you're always there for me...
though i cant touch/see/feel your presence...
but i know your there...
always there...
you'll never leave me in the dark...

God im sorry i didnt turn to you when i needed help...
though i always know your there for me...
your the one watching over me...
your the one giving me hope...
your the reason im breathing air...
your the reason im standing on the solid grounds of the earth...

God i wanna do something for you...
God i wanna help you bring the lost souls back to the kingdom...
but im stil debating with myself...
i dont know how...
God will you lead me?
God will you show me the way?

In this life...
There's many problems i cant face myself...
God im scared...
but God...
thank you for showing me the goodness in life...
You said lift all burdens up to you...
everytime i give it all up..
more comes in...
God please show me the way...

There many obstacles in life i have to go through..
God let your light shine on the right paces of life...
God thank you for being there for me...
God, thank you for loving me...
=')

regrets? memories? 2009....

hello...
yes yes i noe...
it was probably centuries ago since i last updated...
but what to do...
im restricted from the friggin comp on weekdays bsides friday and saturday nia..
=(

ANYHOESSSS....
since my blog has been dead for awhile..
i've decided to revive it...
for now..
haha...

yes my title, REGRETS? MEMORIES? 2009....
you'd probably have a brief idea abt wad im gonna talk/rant abt here...
hahaha...
go on reading if u have nothing better to do...
but dont blame me if it bores you to death...

okie dokie...
where to start...
ahhh yes...

PMR year...*bimboes screams and runs away..*
how random of me...
kay...
being serious now...
ahem ahem...

well... im half-not and half-yea feeling a lil stressed...
tho its JUST the beginning of the year... and school just start for like wad? 3 weeks?
i just regret that i din exactly enjoyed all my time in form 1 n 2 larhh...
im hoping that i wont end up in some crazy-retarded-mental hospital by the mid-year...
form 3 for now isn't exactly what i had in mind...
it's more... not so scary...
maybe for now... i dont know abt the future...
it's not like i can fortell right?

grrr....
memories...
tho i dun really recall any...
but anyways...
it's suppose to be those typical type of memories that when u look back...
you'd feel " DANG i missed those times... i wanna turn back time.."
but i gues its just something that passed...
and just probably would feel nice to remember how it was like...
hahaha...

*im very bored now so thats y im writing lots of stuff... stupid stuff...*

but i NOE wad i miss...
haha...
i miss youth convention...
where i screamed around yelling like some suku-kia, "ICE CREAM"...
and joking abt how drinking coke can make u hyper till you run like 1km/sec?
lol...
ohoh and i miss the cold showers too...
and the kicking slippers on top of the hill like mad people...
aND waking up josephine with my phone alarm *kenny G ringtone..MUAHAHA*
i probably miss alot of stuff that i cant list here...

i noe a SWEET memory that i made just end of last year...
haha...
its when i met...
GUES WHO...
haha not telling...
but u noe hu u are...
hahaha...
stripe!!! ang tao peng buddy...
hahahaha.....

lalalalalalala...
well... im still hoping that maybe 2009 wont be as bad as i always thought it wud be...
haha...
yes and now im gonna say something u wudnt even think i wud ever say...

i'm just gonna see how God leads me and just follow his plan that he laid out for me... haha... =)

nites everyone...